Because of my past painful experiences when I was not secured and was in helplessness situations, I adopted a strategy to dealt with that kind of difficult situations; the strategy to make myself aloof, untouched by circumstances. Simply ignore, avoid the reality, the difficult situation, the challenge and engage myself somewhere else.
I even create a world of my own, which is not based on reality but on my perceptions, the perceptions which give me pleasure, satisfaction & fulfillment.
Whenever chances come to prove that perception, that perceived world of my own; I am always under lot of pressure and again try to do anything, everything to avoid these challenges.
I feel very comfortable myself inside my self built castle, I am happy that I have so much of potential and related qualities in myself. Although I never try to challenge or check that potential or qualities in real world. I don’t want to do that because I fear if that potential or qualities will prove non-existing in myself, it will difficult for me to accept that as that will shake my perceived identity.
However I always use to take token actions, by which I can show myself and the world that I am actually working on my potential, on my qualities.
But inside somewhere, I know I am making myself fool. Again, however I make every effort to avoid, suppress this knowledge, so that I can be happy in my self created world.
