Emotional Intelligence - Frequently Asked Questions

What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotions are the basic guiding factors of our life. They are the messaging system provided by nature to us for our survival.


When we feel good, it indicates that we are in line with our belief systems, with our values & our wishes.


When we feel bad, it indicates that we are offline and needs to take some actions.


On the other end Thoughts are the logical & factual information created by our mind.


Too much rely either on emotions or thoughts may be counterproductive and hence it is essential to have balance between both of them.


This skill of balancing between emotions & thoughts is popularly known as Emotional Intelligence.


Why choose to develop Emotional Intelligence? or Why should I learn emotional intelligence? or How emotional intelligence is helpful in daily life?
This is an easy one to answer because EQ can help you in improving quality in almost every areas of your life. For example, it helps you in all your working relationships, whether personal or professional.


High EQ will help you to focus, so that your performance will manifold. EQ will help you in conflict resolution, in goal setting, in team making, in impulse control and so many other things in your life.


Basically EQ creates the difference, high EQ means a better, healthier, happier and successful life; on the other hand, low EQ ensures a bitter, unhealthy, problematic and broken life.


Although you can be born with a particular temperament or EQ skill level yet you can improve it at any age.


Having high EQ makes you a superior performer. This is shown clearly by the research on performance and EQ.


People with high EQ are optimistic and realistic. They tend to envisage good outcomes, which they then make happen.


People with high EQ are far less likely to suffer badly from stress-related illnesses or depression.


Why should I have emotions at first place, when they create problems in my life? or Emotions are painful, better I should not have them, how can they be helpful for me?
It is not the emotions, which creates problems for us, it is the responses we choose, which creates the problems for us.


In fact emotions are neither good nor bad. Based on our earlier experience with them, we label them good or bad, i.e. if experience is good; we label them good or otherwise label them bad.


The pain associates with so-called bad emotions motivate us to avoid / ignore the emotions at first place itself. It is always counterproductive to avoid / ignore the painful emotions as it is again a proven fact of our life that whatever we try to ignore or avoid, catches our attention more predominately.


So what is the solution, solution is to learn new skills so that we can be able to manage our emotions effectively. The skill of managing our emotions effectively is popularly known as emotional intelligence.


Emotional Intelligence teaches us not to fear, ignore or avoid our emotions and develop our understanding about them.


Emotions cloud my thoughts and make straight thinking difficult; it is evident from my life experiences that without emotions I do able to make better decisions.
It is very well true that aroused emotions creates havoc and make it difficult to focus on anything. It is because of lack of our understanding about our emotions. If we change our approach of handling them, they will less problematic for us, in fact they will turn to be an excellent guide to turn our life more happy & successful.


How? By learning & applying Emotional Intelligence, which is basically a skill to learn effective management of our emotions!


Ignoring emotions while taking decision is not only counterproductive but potentially harmful too in longer run.


I don't want to be emotional, I feel emotional people are weaker.
Emotions do not make us weaker. It is our surrender to them, which makes us weaker.


What you do normally? Either you try to ignore or avoid emotions and completely rely on logic & thoughts OR you surrender to emotions which make it difficult for you to think logically.


Being emotional makes a person illogical; on the other hand pure logical person also misses the colours of the life. Emotions like Happiness, Joy, 
Motivation makes our life enjoyable and without them neither we can be happy nor successful!


The life without happiness, joy and positive emotions does not have any meaning, no matter how much successful you are! It is not possible to avoid Negative Emotions and only allow Positive Emotions, when you switched off yourself for Negative Emotions, all kinds of Positive Emotions are also eluded from your life.


The only solution is to learn to handle & manage your negative emotions (which is basically a part of Emotional Intelligence Skill). By learning and applying Emotional Intelligence Skill in your life, you will be not only stronger but effective, happy & successful too.


All the successful people & bosses are rational thinkers; being professional means one should be strong and not be emotional.
Being emotional creates a picture of a person who is helpless & ineffective, who cannot think properly and who is going with emotions only. On the other hand, being logical means a person without emotions and who acts like a robot.


In our professional life also the role of Creativity, Gut Feelings and Sixth sense is very crucial; it is impossible to take decisions merely on facts & logics.


All the successful people & bosses may looks rational thinkers on the surface, but unless they do not take decisions which are balanced emotionally as well as logically, it is impossible to get results in line with the desired effects.


It is evident in our society that all kind of problems starts with emotions itself.
It is very famous belief of society that money is behind all the evils. But a layman also knows that it is not money but the way one uses money creates all kind of problems.


Similarly it is not emotions but how we tackle, how we handle them which makes a difference.


By using money in constructive way we can get positive results, in similar way, we can get positive results by managing our emotions too. Just like Money, having emotions as well as knowing how to handle them is essential for our life.


When I sad or anxious or hurt, I feel something is wrong with me, emotions make me feel like failure.
The perception to associate ourselves with our emotions creates self doubts. When we have headache, itching or indigestion, we never feel anything wrong with ourselves, then how a painful emotion makes us wrong, bad or failure.


It is not painful emotion, but our response to them, makes us feel failure. By learning Emotional Intelligence skill, we can learn how to respond them and thus can be more happy & successful in our life.


All the strong persons do not have emotions; I don't want to be weak.
No one can be strong by avoiding or ignoring emotions. In fact it is our weakness in handling and managing our emotions, which prompt us to ignore or avoid our emotions.


We can be strong in true sense, only when we able to handle our emotions effectively. Emotions do not make us weaker. It is our surrender to them, which makes us weaker.


What you do normally - Either you try to ignore or avoid emotions and completely rely on logic & thoughts OR you surrender to emotions which make it difficult for you to think logically.


Being emotional makes a person illogical; on the other hand pure logical person also misses the colors of the life. Emotions like Happiness, Joy, Motivation makes our life enjoyable and without them neither we can be happy nor successful!


The life without happiness, joy and positive emotions does not have any meaning, no matter how much successful you are! It is not possible to avoid Negative Emotions and only allow Positive Emotions, when you switched off yourself for Negative Emotions, all kinds of Positive Emotions are also eluded from your life.


The only solution is to learn to handle & manage your negative emotions (which is basically a part of Emotional Intelligence Skill). By learning and applying Emotional Intelligence Skill in your life, you will be not only stronger but effective, happy & successful too.


I am a male; emotions are characteristics of famine personalities.
It is found that males are equally emotional. The only difference is the approach towards emotions. While male hide their emotions and try to project them as stronger, females are more open to express the emotions.


This perception of being stronger by hiding emotions, makes male rather weaker from inside. It is evident from the diseases related to suppressing emotions i.e. Hyper Tension (High Blood Pressure) & Heart Attacks, which are more common in males than females.


Instead of showing fake strength by hiding, avoiding and ignoring the emotions and make yourself prone to diseases like Hyper Tension (High Blood Pressure) and Heart Attacks it is better to learn new skill, which makes you enable to handle and manage your emotions effectively.


Emotional Intelligence Skill will make you more powerful, you will be able to handle and manage your emotions effectively, and in fact emotions do start working in your favor instead of creating all sorts of problems in your life. You do not need to avoid, hide or ignore your emotions anymore and your life will be more effective, enjoyable, happier and successful too.


Being emotional is a nature of individual, how it can be changed?
What we do label as nature is basically emotional management skill level. Although you can be born with a particular temperament or EQ skill level yet you can improve it at any age.


Emotional Intelligence is a skill and like any other skill, it can be developed by practice under proper guidance.


By birth I am sensitive like that, I feel god make me like that, and that is my fate.


We do not skilled in everything by birth; we learn walking, eating, running, riding bicycle and so many other skills by practice under proper guidance.


We spent years to learn different intellectual skills in schools, colleges and other institutes. Managing emotions is also a skill which can be developed by practice under proper guidance.


Everything is so hurting; there is no meaning in trying to change. Failures make me miserable.


There is a very famous Lao Tzu saying "Change direction or you may end up where you're heading!" There is only one way to arise above your suffering, which is to act differently & constructively.


It is destined, I have to bear all these, and I can't do anything.
There is no accurate way to know our destiny. Our failures, which are basically due to lack of our skills, demoralized us to try further.


It is a vicious circle which is, in order to live a happy & successful life, essential to break. The best way to create happiness & success in life is to learn Emotional Intelligence Skill.


How emotional intelligence is helpful in married life?
The major reason behind any failed marriage is emotions only. It is lack of empathy, intimacy & lack of emotional bonding which make it difficult to understand the partner and in turn create the differences between partners which eventually turn into the separation.


Even if it does not go up to the extent of separation, it creates unhappiness, dissatisfaction & resentment in life which is very painful.


The Emotional Intelligence Skill empowers partners to be more empathetic & better listener, which develops the understanding, intimacy & emotional bonding between partners, which are the foundation of any happy & successful marriage!


We do not get any training about these issues before marriage and whatever we learnt is purely based upon role modeling we have from our parents and other senior married couples, which is not always appropriate & sufficient for our case.


Every person is unique and we cannot blindly apply others experience in our married life, if we do, we will get definite counterproductive results.


The best solution is to learn Emotional Intelligence Skills, which will not only ensure a happy & successful life but in addition will make a positive difference in every areas of your life.


How emotional intelligence is helpful for kids?
It helps them to learn effectively, increased their focus level, help in generating self respect, which is a deciding factor for self confidence and in turn their success & happiness for their entire life.


EQ skilled kids are able to deal with problems & conflict effectively, they have better relation with peers, classmates, family members and with teachers too.


Emotional intelligence makes kids happy, successful & effective in their studies as well as in their life too.


How emotional intelligence is helpful for society?
Emotional Intelligence helps individuals to understand & manage their emotions effectively. The output - a better self image, efficient conflict resolution ability, empathy, better focus, ability to work in team environment etc. etc.


Just imagine, what an emotionally intelligent society will be - less conflicts, less tensions, fewer fractions and more empathy, mutual helpfulness, respect for each other- a happy, efficient & effective society.


If only I will be successful, I can create anything and make my life fulfilled.
We think that the life fulfillment & happiness is come through our success. Up to some extent it is true, but what we easily ignore is the fact that success always goes with the persons who are focused & devoted towards their goals.


Unless we are not able to manage our emotions, we will not be able to set our goal properly as well as we can't focus & devoted towards our goals.


It is also a fact that the people, who think that their happiness is related to their success, cannot be happy, as their definition of success always goes up with the time & their achievements. Happiness, fulfillment and the so called success do not have any relation.


In fact it is other way around that the more you are fulfilled & happy in your life, the chances of success is more for you.


We can't make or create anything significant, I do hard work for my goals but after achieving goals I could not happy with them and feel that something is wrong with me, nothing in this world make me happy.


The issue of significance comes from 'the happiness comes from the success' trap. We always pursue the things in order to make us happy by achieving them. It is an undisputed fact that, you cannot be happy through any kind of achievement, because happiness is related to your inside state and not to your outer world.


This misconception is manifold by the belief that if we cannot be happy by our achievement (which is obvious) is a sign that something is wrong with us.


Emotional Intelligence Skill enlightens us to deal with these kinds of dilemmas.


How can I develop emotional intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is a skill and like any other skill, it can be developed by practice under proper guidance.


If you have any additional question, you may contact me on +91 97520 33200 or email us on info@amoghfoundation.org or you can use the form on our website at http://www.amoghfoundation.org/activityzone.html to ask your question.


I am eagerly waiting for your inputs & feedback.

Emotional Intelligence Skill Assessment Test

It is found in various researches that the pure intelligence, as measured by IQ (Intelligence Quotient), which allows an individual to reason logically, is contributed in individual’s success only up to the extent of 20%.

The other 80% factors govern by a skill known as Emotional Intelligence, which is a skill associates with the emotional management.

We all witness by ourselves every day that emotions shape the path of our lives and influence our decision-making. Our emotional actions and reactions affect choices we made, & result we get in return. Our emotions & our capability to handle them defines who we are and decide how we live our life. Having control over our emotions enables us to pursue and achieve our goals.

What is ‘Emotional Intelligence’?

First made popular by Daniel Goleman through his book, Emotional Intelligence. The concept has heavily influenced the world to understand emotional development and its effects on one’s success. ‘Emotional Intelligence’ refers to our intelligence related to our emotional management.
It is found that our emotions are controlled by a specific part in our brain, known as amygdale, on the other hand all the logical thinking is handled by Neocortex, the thinking part of the brain. When both are in proper harmony, they enrich our life, if any one of them is ignored on the cost of other, an imbalance is occurred in the life.

How we learn ‘Emotional Intelligence’?

This skill of balancing or making harmony or emotional intelligence is usually developed through proper role modeling and mentoring by parents, teachers & guardians. It is also found that only 36% of population is emotional intelligence skilled.

Although a good news is that the emotional intelligence can be developed considerably if practice under proper guidance. The first step toward development is to know the present condition and find out the areas where the changes are required.

The ‘Emotional Intelligence Skill Assessment’ Test

The following Emotional Intelligence Test rates your ability to regulate your emotions in a healthy and balanced manner. After completion of the test, you have to send us results by email or by post/courier. Please note that it is not an automated test, where results can be obtained automatically by some program itself. This test is designed in such a way that the different results will be obtained with different participants depending on their age, social, religion & economical group and need personal attention while calculating the score.

Regarding result, you have two options; either you can get your greatest emotional strength and weakness absolutely free of cost or you can purchase a detailed evaluation of your aptitude in each emotional category as described in following pages at a very nominal price. Awareness of your emotional abilities allows you to improve your emotional intelligence and live a happier, more balanced lifestyle.

Download - Emotional Intelligence Skill Assessment Test

Self Expression – Encounter with self

I am trying to be perfect, I feel by being perfect, I can prove myself. The other thing which I have noticed about myself is that I am very sensitive & self-conscious. I understand that I have certain self doubts about myself too, which comes on surface, whenever related button is triggered by someone – knowingly or unknowingly.


Because of my past painful experiences when I was not secured and was in helplessness situations, I adopted a strategy to dealt with that kind of difficult situations; the strategy to make myself aloof, untouched by circumstances. Simply ignore, avoid the reality, the difficult situation, the challenge and engage myself somewhere else.


I even create a world of my own, which is not based on reality but on my perceptions, the perceptions which give me pleasure, satisfaction & fulfillment.


Whenever chances come to prove that perception, that perceived world of my own; I am always under lot of pressure and again try to do anything, everything to avoid these challenges.


I feel very comfortable myself inside my self built castle, I am happy that I have so much of potential and related qualities in myself. Although I never try to challenge or check that potential or qualities in real world. I don’t want to do that because I fear if that potential or qualities will prove non-existing in myself, it will difficult for me to accept that as that will shake my perceived identity.


However I always use to take token actions, by which I can show myself and the world that I am actually working on my potential, on my qualities.


But inside somewhere, I know I am making myself fool. Again, however I make every effort to avoid, suppress this knowledge, so that I can be happy in my self created world.

Emotions spice up women's sex lives

Women with high emotional intelligence (EI) have better sex lives, according to a new study.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor and manage emotions in oneself and others.

The study by a research team at King's College London showed that those with greater EI had more orgasms. It also suggests that low EI is a risk factor for female orgasmic disorder.

"These findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life including the bedroom. This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women's sexual lives," the Independent quoted Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London and co-author of the study, as saying.

For the study, a total of 2,035 female volunteers from the TwinsUK registry were recruited, ranging in age from 18 to 83.

The registry consists of adult twins who agreed to take part in studies to investigate the causes of common disorders. Using twins makes it possible to disentangle genetic and environmental risk factors.

All participants completed questionnaires giving details of their sexual behaviour and performance and also answered questions designed to test their emotional intelligence.

Researchers found a significant association between EI and frequency of orgasm both during masturbation and sexual intercourse.

Women in the bottom 25 percent of the emotional intelligence range had twice the normal risk of infrequent orgasm.

Lead author, psychologist Andrea Burri, also from King's College, said: "Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner.

She also said that there was a possible association with a woman's ability to fantasise during sex.

"Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner," said Burri.

The results of the study appear in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Following this study that women with high emotional intelligence have better sex lives, psychologist Jo Maddocks and sexpert Susan Quilliam have come forward to give ladies with flagging libidos a boost.

"Everyone is born with a capacity for high levels of emotional intelligence, but this can change as we go through our general life, depending on what happens to us," the Sun quoted Jo as saying.

"We may lose touch with our emotions because they become too hard to address, stemming from our past experiences.

"We can then start to use coping methods preventing us thinking about them - such as getting angry, or staying quiet and bottling everything up - methods that can become addictive.

"These mechanisms are then often used to deal with anything in our lives - including sex.

"Building bad attitudes can also directly impact our relationships with other people too.

"A negative attitude, poor body language and extreme reactions can shape the way people treat us too (even sexual partners) - making us feel even more isolated and troubled.

"It is acknowledging the emotions and stopping them from ruling our behaviour that gives us emotional intelligence.

"The key is to make small changes to our behaviour, rather than attempt to overhaul our whole personality.

"If you feel ignored or left out at work, for example, try saying hello to colleagues everyday as they walk in to gain a sense of belonging.

"If you find yourself getting extremely emotional, try acknowledging your feelings before they escalate into this.

"Making small behavioural changes can really help you regain control throughout your life," Jo added.

Quilliam said that having control of the emotions not only means being calmer and happier, it also means feelings won’t get in the way of sex lives.

"There’s a whole variety of ways that emotions can affect your sexuality," Quilliam said.

"Anxious people often can’t let go enough to orgasm.

"While those with anger problems, while sometimes ravenous for sex, can become so adamant on controlling their anger they stop feeling sexy.

"If we have control, we tend to feel confident and proud of ourselves, meaning our sex lives benefit.

"And, as Jo explained, higher emotional intelligence means better relationships with others, which also applies in the bedroom too.

"If we are more willing to trust in bed, then again sex is going to be better. It’s a virtuous circle," Quilliam added.

(An Article from The Times Of India and available online at http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Emotions-spice-up-womens-sex-lives/articleshow/4513121.cms)

आपके दिमाग में कौन रहता है ...........

महाभारत का किस्सा है। राजा शल्य पांडवों के रिश्ते में मामा थे और दुर्योधन के धोखे के शिकार होकर मजबुरन कौरवों के पक्ष से युद्ध लड रहे थे। भीष्म पितामह शरशैया पर लेटे थे और द्रोणाचार्य विरगति को प्राप्त हो चुके थे। कर्ण को कौरव सेना का सेनापति बनाया गया। कर्ण जो स्वयं अर्जुन की बराबरी का धनुर्धर था, ने दुर्योधन को सुझाव दिया की यदि राजा शल्य उसका सारथि बनना स्विकार कर ले, तो अर्जुन के साथ उसका मुकबला बराबरी का हो जायेंगा। अर्जुन के सारथि श्री कृष्ण की ही तरह राजा शल्य भी रथ संचालन में बेजोड़ थे।

पांडवो को जब यह बात पता चली तो वे अपने मामा शल्य से मीले और उनसे निवेदन किया की वे अपने धर्म का पालन करते हुए पुर्ण कौशल से रथ संचालन करे परन्तु अपने भान्जो की एक छोटी सी मदद कर दे, मदद यह की जब वे कर्ण का रथ चलाये तो वे उसे नकारात्मक बातें बोल बोल कर हतोत्साहित करते रहे। इतिहास गवाह है – कर्ण युद्ध में मारा गया और अर्जुन अविजित रहा, क्योंकि फर्क सारथि का था। एक ने उत्साहित करने के लिए पुरी की पुरी गीता रच डाली और दुसरे ने नकारात्मक बातें बोल बोल कर कर्ण को इतना हतोत्साहित किया की वह अपनी पुर्ण क्षमता का उपयोग नहीं कर पाया और युद्ध में मारा गया।

जिन्दगी के इस युद्ध में हम सभी योद्धा भी है और स्वयं सारथि भी है । अब जरा देखे हम किस तरह के सारथि है – हम राजा शल्य की तरह नकारात्मक बातें कर अपने आप को हतोत्साहित कर रहे है या कृष्ण की तरह उत्साह बढा रहे है। हमारी क्षमताओ का पुर्ण उपयोग इस बात पर ही निर्भर करता है।

कई तरह के प्रयोगो और अनुसन्धान के बाद यह बात पता चली की हमारे दिमाग में दो कैन्द्र होते है – एक कैन्द्र जो सोचता है और दुसरा जो उसे सही सिद्ध करने की कोशिश करता है। अब यह जो सोचने वाला हिस्सा है यह कुछ भी सोच सकता है, इसके पास पुरी आजादी है। यह मांउट एवरेस्ट पर चढने से लेकर हिन्द महासागर की तलछटी नापने तक कुछ भी संभव – असंभव कार्य के बारे में सोच सकता है। उधर दिमाग का दुसरा हिस्सा कोशिश करता रहता है उस सोचे हुए को सही सिद्ध करने की।

तो आइये हम देखे की हम अपने बारे मे अधिकांश समय क्या सोच रहे होते है। हमारी फितरत होती है अपनी समस्याओ, अपनी कमियो और सम्भावित अनहोनियो के बारे सोचते रहने की। हम अक्सर ही जाने अनजाने तुलना कर अपने आप को हीन-कमतर महसूस करते रहते है, या डरते रहते है कि कही अनचाहा घटित ना हो जाये। इसमे कोई आश्चर्य की बात नही है यदि हम इन्ही सभी अनहोनियो-अनचाहे को हमारी जिन्दगी मे घटित होता हुआ पाते है।

वैज्ञानिक अनुसन्धानों मे भी यह बात सामने आयी है कि मानव मस्तिष्क एक तरह के कम्प्यूटर की तरह ही काम करता है। फर्क सिर्फ इतना सा है की जहा कम्प्यूटर न तो महसूस कर सकता है और न ही अपने प्रोग्राम खुद लिख सकता है। मानव मस्तिष्क ये दोनों ही काम बखुबी कर लेता है। उसे प्रकृति ने ना सिर्फ महसूस करने की क्षमता दी है वरन वह खुद अपने प्रोग्राम भी लिख सकता है, यह बहुत बडी जिम्मेदारी भी है जिसे हम सामान्यतः भुल जाते है।

इसका यह अर्थ भी है की हमारी जिन्दगी मे घटित होने वाले घटनाक्रमो के लिए हम स्वयं ही जिम्मेदार है, न की परिस्थितियाँ या अन्य लोग, जैसा की हम अक्सर मानते है और परिणामों के उत्तरदायित्व से पल्ला झाड लेते है। यह बात सच भी है, एक अनुसन्धान में यह बात सामने आयी की जिन्दगी में सिर्फ १०% (दस प्रतिशत) घटनाए ऎसी होती है जिन पर हमारा बस नही होता है, बाकि की ९०% (नब्बे प्रतिशत) घटनाए , उन १०% (दस प्रतिशत) घटनाओ पर हमारी प्रतिक्रियाओ का ही परिणाम होती है।

हम सुबह सुबह सो कर उठते है और कुछ ऎसा हो जाता है जो कि हमारे अनुकूल नही होता है और हम व्यथित हो जाते है। उसके बाद हम पाते है की पुरे दिन हम कुछ न कुछ परेशानियो से ही जुझते रहते है। ऎसा क्यो होता है? ऎसा इसलिए होता है की जब हम व्यथित हो जाते है, विचलित हो जाते है, तब हमारे विचारो का केन्द्र बिन्दु वह परेशानी, वह समस्या बन जाती है। और जितना हम उस परेशानी, समस्या में गहरे उतरते जाते है, हम पाते है की उसी तरह की, हमे परेशान करने वाली दुसरी घटनाए एक के बाद एक होती चली जाती है।

तो इसका अर्थ क्या हुआ? क्या हमे अपनी परेशानियो – समस्याओ के बारे मे नही सोचना चाहिये? अगर हम उनके बारे मे नही सोचेंगे तो उनका हल कैसे ढुढेंगे?

आइये देखे हम अभी क्या कर रहे है और उसका नतिजा क्या निकल रहा है? जब भी कोइ समस्या या परेशानी हमारे सामने आती है, हमारा सबसे पहला प्रयास उससे कन्नी काट कर बच निकलने का होता है। हम सबसे पहले तो उसे स्विकार ही नही करना चाहते है, अगर वह फिर भी ज्यो की त्यो बनी हुई है तब हम उससे लडते है, पुछते है की समस्या – परेशानी हमे ही क्यो? क्या पहले ही कम परेशानिया है, जो एक और आ गयी। यह बहुत स्वाभाविक भी है, कोई भी व्यक्ति अपनी जिन्दगी मे समस्याए-परेशानिया नही चाहता है।

तो हम कर क्या रहे है? हम अपनी परेशानियो से लड रहे है, जुझ रहे है, उसी के बारे में सोच रहे है, और हमारे दिमाग का दुसरा हिस्सा, दुसरा केन्द्र, जो कुछ हम सोच रहे है उसे साकार कर रहा है।

तो सही तरिका क्या है? सही तरिका है, अपनी समस्याओ-परेशानियो को स्विकार करना, यह मान लेना की यह जिन्दगी का एक हिस्सा है. कबिरदास जी ने कहा है –

देह धरन का दोष है, सब काहू को होय,
ज्ञानी भुगते ज्ञान से, मूरख भुगते रोय।

अर्थान भुगतना तो इस देह, इस शरीर के साथ जुडा हुआ ही है, अब इसे ज्ञान के साथ हँसी खुशी भुगतना है या रो रो कर भुगतना है, हमारी मर्जी है, पर भुगतना हर हाल मे है.

प्रसिद्ध उपन्यासकार शरतचन्द्र ने भी लिखा है – ’भय रहित दुःख को सुख की तरह भोगा जा सकता है।’ अर्थात यह दुःख नही है जो हमे पिडा दे रहा है, यह उसके साथ जुडा भय है जिससे हम पिडित है.

अग्रेजी की एक प्रसिद्ध कहावत भी कुछ ऎसा ही कहती है - Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional, अर्थात पिडाओ को तो नही खत्म किया जा सकता पर उससे पिडीत होना ऎच्छिक है।

तो जब हम अपनी समस्याओ-परेशानियो से लडना खत्म कर, स्विकार कर लेते है तब हम उनके पार देख पाते है, तब हमारी उर्जा उन समस्याओ-परेशानियो के हल ढुढ्ने मे लग पाती है। जब हमारा मस्तिष्क समस्याओ-परेशानियो के बजाय हल के बारे में सोच रहा होता है, तब दुसरा केन्द्र उसे साकार करना शुरु कर देता है और हमारी जिन्दगी पर हम अपना नियन्त्रण बढा हुआ पाते है । यह अहसास हमे अधिक आत्मविश्वासी, अधिक प्रसन्न रहने मे मदद करता है।

तो अब आप समझ गये होंगे की हमारे सोचने में कितनी ताकत है और हमारी सोच ही हमारी जिन्दगी में परिणाम पैदा करती है, सही सोच से सही परिणाम और गलत सोच से गलत परिणाम।

लेखक श्री अमित भटनागर, अमोघ फाँउन्डेशन के चेयर पर्सन, मोटिवेशनल स्पिकर, कार्पोरेट ट्रैनर, लेखक व ईमोशनल ईन्टेलिजेन्स गुरु है।

“वक्त नहीं”

हर खुशी है लोगों के दामन में
पर एक हँसी के लिए वक्त नहीं
दिन रात दौडती दुनिया में
जिन्दगी के लिए ही वक्त नहीं

माँ की लोरी का अहसास तो हैं
पर माँ को माँ कहने का वक्त नहीं
सारे रिश्तो को तो हम मार चुके
अब उन्हे दफनाने का भी वक्त नही.

सारे नाम मोबाईल में है
पर दोस्ती के लिए वक्त नही
गैरों की क्या बात करे
जब अपनो के लिए ही वक्त नही

आँखो में है नींद बडी
पर सोने का वक्त नहीं
दिल है गमो से भरा
पर रोने का भी वक्त नहीं

पैसों की दौड में ऎसे दौडे
कि थकने का भी वक्त नही
पराये अहसासो की क्या कद्र करे
जब अपने सपनो के लिए ही वक्त नहीं

तू ही बता ऎ जिन्दगी
इस जिन्दगी का क्या होगा
कि हर पल मरने वालो को
जीने के लिए भी वक्त नहीं

कवि : अज्ञात

The Other Half

Amogh Foundation is planning to start an online magazine dedicated to self growth issues! Visit http://theotherhalf.amoghfoundation.org/

अन्त यात्रा

विचारों की लय पर

थिरकती है जिंदगी,
अपने ही हाथों से सँवरती है जिंदगी,
पेड़ टिकता है
जड़ो पर,
पत्तियाँ तो आनी जानी है,
गायक खो जाते है
स्वर गुंजते रहते है,
लेखक गुम हो जाते है
शब्द पिछे रह जाते है,
हीर-रांझे, रोमियों-जुलिएट
आते है चले जाते है
बस नाम भर रह जाते है,
इसी तरह दौर आते है
और जाते है
बहाव चलता रहता है,
अन्त यात्रा की कोशिश
तो हर चोले दर चोले
चलती है,
पर विचारों की लय पर
थिरकती है जिंदगी
अपने ही हाथों
सँवरती है जिंदगी.

(अमित भटनागर अमोघ फाउंडेशन के सीइओ व इमोशनल इंटेलिजेंस के गुरु हैं
ईमेल : amitbhatnagar@amoghfoundation.org
वेबसाइट : www.amoghfoundation.org